I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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