I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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