Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
did you just send me my own nude
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
