I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
