So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
