yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
