after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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