think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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