We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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