Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
