We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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