the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
