Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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