dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
