Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
