headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
