I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
