when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
