It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Mom said you looked used
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
