Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
