i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My vagina is officially offended.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
