I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
