Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
