South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
