I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
