So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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