oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
