This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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