Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
