its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
