she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
