Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
