Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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