i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just want to make out with him forever
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
