the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
