I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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