girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
