Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My vagina just clenched in fear
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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