it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
