somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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