He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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