I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
