I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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