Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
