a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
