dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
