What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
