can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
