I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
