so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
