you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
