the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
